Is this even the right puzzle?

Have you ever been told that life is like a puzzle? I have been told that the pieces will fall into place given the proper time. Everything has its place and you just have to be patient.

I feel like my puzzle pieces have been mixed with a different puzzle. A piece will fall into place, but in no time at all the piece just pops out as if to say “Oops! This isn’t where I belong. Silly me…”. It then just falls off the table and is never heard from again. At that point I just want to rage, flip the entire puzzle over, and stomp away.

I stop myself with one simply word: Why? Why ruin everything that you have built so far when just one thing falls apart? There are still plenty of pieces and enough time to make things work. Just keep working. The picture biggger picture at the end of it all is worth the time and effort.

Not a Resolution

Is it really a handful of days away from 2018? Where have the past few years of my life gone? I started this almost 2 years ago and I don’t even have 20 posts made on here. Considering this was supposed to be a bi-weekly or once a month kind of thing its safe to say I failed miserably as a blogger. These past 18 months since my last post have been some of the best and worst times of my life. Passionate love, devastating loss, more moves then I care to think about (with another right around the corner), and personal growth on levels I didn’t even realize I could achieve.

In 2018 I am going to return to my passions. I’m going to read as if every book is about to be burned, paint like no one is watching, and write like Tolkien, King, Gaiman, and Butcher are all tearing down my door for a chance to work with me. I’m going to love myself more then I have ever felt worthy of. I will stop trying to find my selfworth in the eyes of another, it’s not going to be there anyhow.  I will enjoy every moment of every day as if I have no more tomorrows left. I will smile more and complain less. I will also attempt to not be a workaholic and still get my bills paid.

This is not my 2018 New Year’s Resolution. This is my promise to myself. It has no timeline and no expiration date. Just me trying to do better by me.